The Good Guys Chronicles Box Set Read online

  It had to be a trap. This was a game, after all. Thing was, I could see my footprints going back up the mountain, and I could see where I’d walked around to make my shelter, but I couldn’t see any prints around the box.

  I looked up to the sky.

  Nothing.

  I knelt down and felt around the base of the box. Snow. There was a small tag tucked into the ribbon on the far side of the box. Without touching it, I laid down in the snow next to the tag so I could read it.

  Montana,

  Forgot this.

  MP

  Well shit. I bet he was laughing at my display of paranoia.

  Cool Beans, you’ve learned the skill Investigate. Now, when you don’t know, try and figure it out! +5% to find the hidden. +5% passive perception.

  Well, thank you paranoia.

  I picked up the present, pulled the bow, and the box just poofed out of existence. Instead I held a small vial of iridescent green liquid with a delicate little tag tied onto the stopper. It said Attribute Points. As soon as I read that, a note popped up in front of me.

  You have found Bonus Attribute Potion

  Item Type: Potion

  Item Class: Rare

  Item Quality: Exquisite

  Durability: 4/4

  Weight: 1 lb

  Requirements: the ability to drink

  Description: This rare potion gives you some additional attribute points (6) to spend as you see fit. Beware, as soon as it is exposed to the sun, it begins to degrade.

  “Shiiiit!” I cried, watching the durability drop by one.

  I flicked the stopper off, and chugged the whole damn thing.

  There was a loud bing, and then a notification came up.

  Wowza, you’ve got Six (6) additional attributes to assign. Do it in 36 hours or lose them forever.

  I sighed and pulled up by attributes.

  Attributes

  Strength: 20

  Agility: 15

  Dexterity: 15

  Constitution: 20

  Wisdom: 13

  Intelligence: 13

  Charisma: 13

  Luck: 25

  Unassigned points: 6

  I had to wonder, had my agility or dexterity been higher, could I have grabbed the rocky outcroppings and avoided becoming lunch? Would increased constitution have staved off the paralyzation? What would I need to stop making stupid mistakes?

  I put the points into Intelligence, but then my finger hovered over the ‘okay’ button. But I couldn’t push it. I put two points into Luck, and then four into Charisma. I’d have to meet people eventually, and, maybe, if they liked me, they’d leave me alone.

  Attributes

  Strength: 20

  Agility: 15

  Dexterity: 15

  Constitution: 20

  Wisdom: 13

  Intelligence: 13

  Charisma: 17

  Luck: 27

  Unassigned points: 0

  With the admin crap taken care of, it was time to return to living life. Only one direction to go. I started downhill.

  Unlike the previous day, the clouds were sparse, so I could see the lands below me. There were verdant deciduous forests ringing the mountains, undulating hills between rising peaks, rivers and lakes. All of it was beautiful, in a John Denver way. Oh, and pretty fucking far away. I was still in a world of snow and ice and nothing nice. Nothing living, that’s for sure.

  As exciting as my first descent happened to be, the second was exactly the opposite. The damn mountain just kept going. And going. And going. All the time alone with my thoughts meant too much thinking about the girl, and I didn’t need that shit. I started sliding down on my belly for stretches, just to give myself a break.

  Though a bit scary, it was fun and quick, and I managed to make up some time. I messed up once by rolling down the slope instead, which left me really fucking dizzy and led to me puking up the little breakfast I’d had. Still, better than becoming something else’s breakfast.

  The sun was already high in the sky by the time I hit another large flat spot. I took a momentary break there. Slogging through snow without snowshoes was exhausting and unpleasant at best. At worst, well, I think I’d discovered worst my first attempt. I sat down, the thick snow providing a bit of padding. The furs covering me were mostly white, as if taken from a polar bear with an excessive hair condition. Since the snow was caked around the fur, and it was white, I figured I’d be able to lay down on the snow and basically be invisible. Which, you know, if there had been any life around me, would keep me safe.

  Naturally, that’s when I caught a sign of life.

  Above me and to the left, a large form floated lazily in the air. Well in the distance, mind you, but it was there. Something huge flying around. I wouldn’t say it was the size of a 747, but it was definitely up there, easily besting a regional jet.

  My brain screamed at me, begging me to figure out what was happening because something that big shouldn’t be flying. A good reminder that the laws of physics might be different in Vuldranni.

  I laid flat and closed my eyes. Perfect camouflage.

  As soon as my heart rate came back to normal, I sat up and looked for the flying thing.

  Gone.

  I mean, it was pretty far away, so there’d be little chance of it seeing me, or even wanting to cross the distance to see if I was something edible. Still, better to be moving, better to get away from whatever it might be.

  And a solid reminder I could no longer be sure of what I’d encounter.

  Chapter 9

  Somewhere close to mid-afternoon, I took my next break, sitting down in the snow and tucking into the rations once again. Dried mystery meat isn’t quite as bad the second time around. I took mouthfuls of snow to drink, what with not having a waterskin or canteen or anything to hold liquids. It had gotten overcast above and below me, but the clouds parted in front of me, and I could see a bit more of where I was going. A flat area, thank God (or gods), with a number of large, rounded protrusions all over the place. Something like a boulder-strewn plateau, maybe it was a spot a glacier came through. I have no real idea. I spent geology class getting my rocks off, if you know what I mean. Thanks, Chelsea.

  The landscape dipped hard after that, but a steep slope started up again, up and up leading to another peak. The dip had to be a pass between these two mountains, and that’d be my next goal, especially because I could see just few wisps of smoke coming from that area. If I could get there, I might find civilization. At the very least, I could choose which side of the mountains I wanted to go down. Most likely, I’d want to see if I could figure out which way the weather came from, and go that way. Much better chance of finding fertile and verdant land that way. And that meant more food. More food meant happier people and fewer things that eat you in caves and shit.

  With that small decision made, I got to my feet, brushed off my butt, and started hiking again.

  It didn’t take long to get to the flats. Curiosity got the better of me, and I dug out one of the round protrusions. It actually was just a boulder. Maybe I did learn something in Geology after all.

  The flat, though, was much rougher than I thought. I had to walk up slight inclines, and then into mini-valleys that were filled with snow. Like, up past my hips deep. For the first up and down, it was kind of fun, but then it got annoying. Up, down, up, down, burning through my stamina.

  Each up, I watched my stamina bar nearly bottom out. Definitely a bizarre feeling to have a visual representation of stamina, watching the bar fill up and feeling better. I took a short break when the bar dropped, breathing hard in the cold and watching the world around me to let the stamina fill all the way back up. The slog seemed interminable.

  As I finally neared the pass, I heard noises coming from behind a boulder. It sounded a bit like a group of somethings squabbling. An argument. Then, I heard the scratching noise of metal on metal, and everything went quiet again.

  This was exciting — I was about to come into
contact with actual sentient beings for the first time in this world. Still, given my first experience interacting with the beings of the world, I figured it might be better to err on the side of caution, so I edged along the boulder and peeked over.

  I saw small green-skinned creatures, wearing mismatched armor and home-made snow shoes, chewing on sticks of meat. I counted six of them. They all had miniature bows on their backs, and small quivers of arrows at their hips. Maybe three feet tall or so, but they had outsized heads with large ears flopping off the sides, very large mouths filled with sharp pointy teeth. Their hands and feet didn’t fit their body either, to the point that I wasn’t exactly sure they even needed snow shoes. A seventh creature, slightly larger than the rest, knelt at the top of the next crest, looking sharply down and watching something. It had to be the pass.

  Every once in a while, one of the six would snap, make some offhand comment or throw something. There’d be a retaliation and escalation until they made enough noise the big guy on the ridge would turn around and shush them.

  I wondered what they were, trying hard to concentrate on them, to see if there was some way I could get some information on the creatures. Like a pop up or something. Species name. Level.

  Nothing happened.

  Something finally clicked, and I remembered the books I got with my starting gear.

  I pulled them out and gave them a look. The first, and smallest, was a green book with an embossed sparkly leaf on the front. As soon as I made to open the book, I got a prompt, floating up between me and the book.

  Would you like to learn the skill: Harvesting?

  Yes/No

  Obviously, yes.

  The book vibrated for a moment, pulsing in and out of existence. I felt a pressure around my head, and my impulse was to fight back, not let anything in. But I made a snap judgement, thinking that I was trying to get knowledge, so it probably needed to be in my head. I let it in.

  Thoughts swirled around, and my brain immediately raged in pain. New pathways were forced open, and suddenly I knew a whole hell of a lot about the plants of Vuldranni.

  Cool Beans, you’ve learned the skill Harvesting (Lvl 5). You can pick plants, you can grab fruit, you can cut neat things out of creatures you slaughter. That’ll save the world, right? At Level 5, you are able to harvest common elements with no penalties. +10% successful gathering chance

  Sweet.

  Next book.

  Small with a black cover and a gold magnifying glass.

  As soon as I tried to open the book, I got the prompt:

  Would you like to attempt to learn the spell: Lifeform Identification?

  Yes/No

  I noticed the word attempt, which meant it was possible I’d fail to learn the spell. I wondered if that meant I’d lose the book, and the chance to learn the spell.

  Still, I had to take the chance.

  Yes.

  The book did the same as the previous: a bit of vibration, some pulsing in and out of reality, and then head pressure and pain.

  A feeling in my head of newness, and I knew the spell.

  Look at that, you’ve learned the spell: Lifeform Identification

  Lifeform Identification allows you to examine creatures and know certain traits. At higher spell levels, you will gain access to additional information.

  I had magic. Boss.

  I also had one more book.

  Object Identification.

  Same deal: got the prompt, said yes, book did its thing, head hurt, knew the spell.

  Look at that, you’ve learned the spell: Basic Object Identification

  Basic Object Identification allows you to examine objects and identify certain traits. At higher spell levels, you will gain access to additional information.

  I was on my way to opening my own pawnshop.

  With a bit of intense thought and a whispered word, I cast Identify Lifeforms.

  A little bubble appeared above the creature I was looking at, moving along with the creature.

  Goblin

  Level 2 Scout

  Not a ton of information, but better than nothin.’ Plus, I could see that it wasn’t a much higher level than me. Goblins are usually evil creatures in games and literature, worthless shock troops of the dark lords to let noobs grind up until they’re actually useful characters. But was that the case here? Were they evil? I mean, they weren’t really doing anything evil. They were just having a bite to eat, and spying on someone.

  I took a deep breath and let it out real slow, doing my best to release my nerves and get my thinking cap on. I had to make a choice: either assume I knew everything about this world and go in with violence, or, the more dangerous choice, be open-minded. Try to be friendly.

  Maybe this was a nice world, cave-beasts not included.

  I pulled my gloves off, tucked them into my belt, and folded my hood down. Now, I figured I just looked like an ordinary dude out for a stroll in the arctic. Totally normal and non-threatening.

  “Hiya,” I said, taking a step around the boulder.

  I had seven sets of yellow eyes on me immediately. Four whipped bows out, their arrows pointed in my direction. Two had spears I hadn’t noticed. Those were out and ready, pointy end towards me. The de facto leader, the dude spying on the ridge, had a sword of sorts out. It was a large curving blade that looked like something between a cutlass and a scimitar, with several holes cut in it along the non-sharpened side. Thick rings hung from the holes, giving it a bit of a jingle jangle when moved.

  “Uh,” I said, holding my hands up, “I come in peace?”

  We held that tableau for a moment, and I figured I needed to let them make the first move.

  The leader eyed me up and down. He said something I didn’t understand, but apparently it was enough for my boon to kick in:

  Smashing! You’ve learned a new language, Goblin.

  “You need answer: where you come from?” he barked at me, his voice somehow both high-pitched and guttural, like a toddler with a six-pack a day habit suckling from bottles of whisky.

  I pointed over my shoulder at the mountain.

  “With Queen?” he asked.

  My first impulse was to lie, to gauge what it was he wanted to hear and feed it to him. But this was a new life. Why start it off on the wrong foot?

  “No sir,” I answered.

  A really nasty smile came over the leader’s giant mouth, his wicked teeth coming into view. “Kill him,” he said with a sneer.

  Chapter 10

  Apparently goblins were evil in this world. Or at least just really big supporters of the monarchy. I’ve heard it both ways.

  Four small goblin arrows snapped through the air, all of which slammed into me.

  I prepped for serious pain.

  Which was unnecessary. A bit of pressure as each hit me, but no pain. No red flashing.

  “Hey,” I said, “look at that.”

  My buddy’s smile disappeared, and he barked out: “CHARGE!!”

  One of the spear men ducked his head and sprinted towards me, seeming to float across the surface of the snow on his little snow shoes.

  I fumbled with the hatchet, trying to pull it out of my belt, but as soon as it came free, it tumbled and then disappeared into the snow.

  “Well shit,” I said, but looked up just in time to see the spear coming right towards me.

  There was no dodging it — I just watched the ragged point jam directly into my thigh.

  I screamed in pain as red numbers floated up into my vision. I took a deep breath and willed the numbers to go the fuck away and let me fight. The familiar cold came over me and the world slowed down just a little bit. The focus of rage that comes from a lifetime of fighting and being embroiled in violence.

  Seeing how effective the spear had been, the rest of the goblins all dropped their bows in favor of melee weapons.

  My initial attacker tried to push harder, to get his spear deeper in, but I stopped him. I pulled the spear out of me, the spearhead co
ming out with a rather revolting sucking sound and a depressing amount of pain. The little goblin had his mouth open in surprise, but was still gripping the spear. He only weighed, like, twenty pounds, so I just used the spear to pick him up, and slammed him as hard as I could into the boulder, leaving a green-black splotch behind.

  GG! You’ve killed a Goblin (lvl 2 Scout).

  You’ve earned 50 xp! What a mighty hero you are.

  GG? Good game? Brutal.

  The notification popped up, and I immediately shunted it away, making the mental note to hold shit like that until combat was over.

  I spun the spear around to get the pointy bit towards the goblins, then looked at what I imagined had to be my most dangerous opponent, the boss goblin. But he just had his sword out while waiting for the underlings to do the work. Typical boss.

  The next goblin up had a sword out, a crudely made thing that had a very roughly serrated edge and a fine coating of rust.

  He swung wildly.

  I jumped back, but his blade still managed to cut some of the fur off my midsection. I lifted the spear straight up as the goblin pulled his sword back for a mighty thrust, and just as he was about to strike, I brought the spear straight down, striking the goblin’s big head. I hit with enough force that the point went right through the guy, all the way into the frozen ground.