Dungeon Mauling Read online

  Dungeon Mauling

  The Good Guys Book 3

  Eric Ugland

  Air Quotes Publishing

  Copyright © 2018 Eric Ugland

  Cover art by Katrina Chase

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This is a work of Fiction. All of the characters in this novel are fictional and any resemblance to people living, dead, or undead is purely coincidental and surprising. And, let’s not even begin to talk about the fact that it’s all in a fantastical world in some other universe. There may be mentions of real places in this book, and while these passing mentions of real locations might have passing resemblance to said real locations, that's really just incidental, and these locations are all used fictitiously. The science in this book is only accidentally accurate, and no medical or scientific value should be attached to any of the ideas espoused within.

  Except that Kent is a jerk.

  Also by Eric Ugland

  The Good Guys - Epic LitRPG/GameLit

  One More Last Time

  Heir Today Pawn Tomorrow

  Roseland - Private Investigator Mysteries

  Series One

  Series Two

  Series Three

  For Erik Peffer

  Thanks for the stories in the dark

  under stars at the cabin.

  Chapter One

  Godfrey stood up, rage and embarrassment fighting for control of his face. His hands trembled, and I could tell it took all his control to not kill me where I stood. Or at least try.

  “Wow,” I said, “now you’re a level 17 noble with no titles and so, I guess, nothing.”

  He stared at me. Then at Nikolai. Then at Cleeve.

  “I have nothing at the moment,” he said. “But that merely means, I have so much to gain.”

  He lashed out with a dagger I hadn’t even seen on him. Faster than I could react, he drove it deep into Cleeve’s eye, all the way through my adopted father’s head, and out the back of his skull.

  Nikolai screamed in rage, and while I was still getting the axe into motion, Nikolai sliced Godfrey in two.

  Congratulations, you are now Duke of Coggeshall.

  Fuck.

  You have unlocked the coronet of the Coggeshall Family Heraldic Achievement. WARNING: you are the last surviving member of the Coggeshall dynasty. Should you die without heir, the line will end with you.

  There was an intense silence all around — no one really seemed to know what to do. I mean, I had no idea. Benedict Coggeshall lay on the ground, dead. Godfrey lay on the ground, in pieces. Also dead.

  Nikolai grabbed my shoulders and pulled me close.

  “They will come for me in a heartbeat,” he said. “It might be some time before I can get out.”

  “But—”

  “Murder is murder, Montana. Be wary of that. Since the Emperor is dead, I am no longer a Thingman. I have no strings to pull here. Get to the holding, build something safe. There are those already heading there, those who have been promised safety. You must be ready for winter.”

  You have been offered a quest by Nikolai:

  Home Again

  Nikolai and Benedict planned to make a safe home for those who needed it, and many of those people are already on the way to the planned site. They will be there prior to winter, a season notoriously difficult in this part of Vuldranni. You must make a place for them to live and survive.

  Reward for success: Loyal subjects in your new ducal holding, [unknown]

  Penalty for failure (or refusal): the deaths of many innocents, loss of the respect of Nikolai, a tarnish on your title and name, [unknown]

  Yes/No

  “I have no idea what the hell I’m—”

  “This is no time for excuses, Montana. You are an Imperial Duke now — you have power. You have all the money Coggeshall put together. Get back to his room before others do, and gather what he left. There are letters for you and for Lee. Instructions in case something like this should happen. Leave me here. I will rejoin you if and when I can. Until then, your focus is building the holding.”

  Some men pulled Nikolai apart from me then, Legionnaires who were putting the man under arrest.

  I accepted the quest. Nikolai nodded at me, and I got the notice he’d left my party.

  Murderous stares came from all around me. Some from the Legion — I guess because they thought I’d gotten Coggeshall killed — and more from Godfrey’s cadre of soldiers. I knew Godfrey’s men would jump me as soon as they could. I needed to get out of Osterstadt, fast.

  The Legion had Nikolai, and were frogmarching him into the city.

  I knelt next to Cleeve/Coggehall’s body, and did the only thing I could think: I hoisted him into my arms. The Legion Lieutenant, Darby, stepped in my path.

  “Beggin’ your pardon,” he said, “but Captain Coggeshall deserves a Legion burial.”

  “Is there a, I mean, where does he go from here?” I asked.

  “We will take him to the Legion House. We prepare the body for burial. On tomorrow’s sunrise, we bury him in the Legion cemetery. At no point will his body be without Legionnaires, for we leave none behind.”

  I thought about making a point of Coggeshall being my father. About wanting to bury him on our family grounds, but that was all recent stuff. The Legion had been his family for Coggeshall’s entire life, and though I felt a strong pull to take him with me, I had to imagine he’d rather go with them.

  Nodding, I held out Coggeshall’s body.

  Darby bowed his head to me. “Thank you.”

  Legion soldiers had a shield flat and laid Coggeshall out on it. They hoisted him up. Darby took a moment standing over Coggeshall and going over the body. He turned back to me, his arms full of Coggeshall’s personal effects. Not many — just two heavy pouches, his sword, and his dagger.

  “When he is laid to rest,” Darby said, “I will get in contact with you so you may pay your respects.”

  “Thank you,” I said.

  All alone now, I watched the body of my adopted father disappear into the city.

  “What do we do now?” Ragnar asked.

  Poignant moment ruined, I looked down to see that I was, in fact, flanked by my hirð.

  “According to Nikolai,” I said, “we go build a city. And that means we go get Lee.”

  Chapter Two

  Townsfolk were still heading towards the bulwark. Apparently there was plenty of cleanup left to do from the dead monsters who’d come out of the Emerald Sea. Beasts to butcher and meat to gather. The sun was close to setting, and a brisk wind blew off the trees that made up the Sea. A million smells swirled around me, but pine won out over all of them. It was a blissful but terrible moment. I felt a sadness I wasn’t prepared for, and despite Ragnar and Skeld walking on either side of me, I felt lost and alone.

  I followed my hirðmen, trusting them to get me where I needed to go. For the moment, I was too deep in my head. There were so many thoughts bouncing in and out, and I was having trouble processing. Well, more like I didn’t want to accept what had happened. How quickly everything had gone tits up. I couldn’t stop replaying everything, wondering if I’d taken the best possible path. Had my choices led to Cleeve’s death? Was it my fault?

  Again?

  It felt like those I cared about were destined to die around me while I continued to flounder and fail upward. I passed a stall selling fried dough, which triggered a memory of the good times I’d had with The Girl. Which made me thinl of what had happened to her. My time with Cleeve had put her in my past, in a good way, and yet, now… Now I had to deal with every
thing on my own. No Cleeve, no Nikolai.

  As soon as The Girl started popping up in my thoughts, I knew darkness was coming, and I had to make the choice: succumb to depression and dwell in darkness, or fight through via any means necessary. Depression had not worked well for me in the past, so I had to push all those bad thoughts out. I had to squash them all down deep inside, and focus on victory for the present moment. Plenty of time to mourn and throw myself a pity party later.

  Shaking my hair out of my face, I leaned back and screamed at the heavens.

  It made me feel better.

  Everyone else in the street thought I was a fucking loon. But, well, that seemed to be my thing in Vuldranni.

  The inn itself was virtually devoid of people. The front desk clerk barely looked up from his book when we walked in, and the bar/restaurant to the side was empty. I darted up the stairs and down the hall, noticing that the detritus I’d left behind after the fight had been cleaned up. I wondered if we were going to be charged for that somehow.

  Lee must have been watching out the window, because he opened the door before I had my hand up to knock.

  “What happened?” he asked.

  “Cleeve’s dead, Nikolai’s arrested—” I started.

  “Nikolai killed Cleeve?”

  I shook my head. “No, Nikolai killed the man who killed Cleeve. But it was, you know, murder all the same somehow.”

  “But—“

  “Not to interrupt,” Ragnar said, totally interrupting, “but there were several people following us, and I think it might behoove us if we, you know…”

  “Skedaddled,” Skeld finished.

  I frowned. “Did I miss that much?”

  “You mean while you were brooding, or when you were screaming?”

  “Let’s not talk about that,” I said, and kicked in the door to Cleeve’s room.

  I saw bag under the desk, and two letters on the desk. I pulled the bag out, opened it, and dumped the contents into my Unfillable Knapsack. Both letters got shoved into my belt, and then I ran back into the hall, where I promptly ran, literally, into Lee.

  He dropped to the floor, and I picked him up immediately. Skeld stood at the top of the stairs, keeping an eye on things. Ragnar was in my room.

  “We’re going to die,” Lee said.

  “No,” I replied, “we’ll be fine.”

  “Actually,” Ragnar called out, “might want to see this before you make any bold promises.”

  “We’ll be fine,” I told Lee with a confident smile on my face. I walked by him and went into my room to look out the window.

  Glancing out the front I saw a group of men and women wearing blue tabards of Valamir, the Emperor's brother, standing outside. I raised an eyebrow — it seemed suspicious for anyone to be wearing Valamir’s colors so early following the Emperor’s demise, especially since the Emperor’s death wasn’t actually known yet. But then again, Valamir had some people in the city already; I’d noticed them before. Most of the larger nobles had representatives of some form in Osterstadt. I guess the city was just too important an economic center to be left completely alone. Hence why it warranted a full Viceroy.

  So, not that weird that there were people in the tabards, but definitely weird that they were all right outside my hotel. On the plus side, not a single person was left wearing the Duhamel crest, despite recognizing a few of the black eyes and busted faces from our previous altercation. Maybe they were never Godfrey’s men, or they’d seen the Duhamel house burning down with Godfrey’s ignoble death and switched to more profitable pastures on the quick. Regardless of who they’d supported in the past, they were clearly in Valamir Glaton's camp now. And they all watched me through the windows of the inn.

  It was creepy.

  I gave a half wave, but got nothing in return. I backed away from the window.

  “They might be friendly,” I said to my compatriots.

  Nobody seemed to believe me.

  I had the distinct impression we might not make it back to the hotel, so I made sure we had everything we had brought to the place, as well as a few other items which were, you know, sitting around, like blankets and water pitchers.

  Ready to go, we headed downstairs, into the lobby, and out through the doors. I looked around at the crowd.

  A man stepped forward. He wore heavy plate armor, gleaming in the lamp light. The blue tabard looked tremendous on him. Hell, he looked tremendous. Strong jaw line, perfect hair, aquiline nose, beyond clean-shaven. He positively reeked of nobility.

  "Duke Coggeshall," he started with a slight bow of his head, "I presume."

  "That's me," I replied.

  "May I present myself?" he asked.

  There was a hefty awkward moment as I waited for him to continue before I finally realized he was waiting for me to give him permission to continue. The nobility thing was definitely something I needed to get used to.

  "Sure," I replied.

  "I am Count Wolstan Daubernoun."

  "Good to meet you," I said.

  He faltered slightly, the smile on his face slipping ever so slightly as he suffered dealing with me. "Yes, it is good to make your acquaintance. I was hoping I might have a word with you."

  "Brought a few of your friends with you I see?” I asked.

  "I wanted you to see the support here."

  "Support for what?"

  "The new Emperor."

  "I wasn't aware there was a problem with the old Emperor," I lied.

  He shook his head and gave me a knowing smile.

  "I cannot imagine for a moment that your late father did not share the details of his arrangement with you, his only son and heir.”

  "We didn't talk much. Just wasn't that kind of relationship."

  "Now, now Lord Coggeshall—“

  “Well damn,” I said, looking at my wrist where there had once been a watch, “will you look at the time? I am afraid I've got a thing, so I do have to cut our little chat short."

  "This will take but a mere minute of your time."

  “Fine. You have a minute.”

  "I would appreciate it if you would consider pledging your support to Valamir Glaton."

  "Support in what?"

  "Assuming the throne."

  There it was: the beginning of the push for power. Let the courtly games — the games I had no desire to take part in — commence. But I was mired in them now, all because of my willingness to take on the problems of a dude I'd known for, like, two months or so.

  "Fuck me," I said quietly, unconsciously externalizing my internal monologue.

  "Pardon me, my lord?" Count Wolstan said, confused.

  "Just thinking out loud," I replied with a wave of my hand. "Don't give it another thought. But, I mean, speaking of thinking, I'm going to need to think about this. It's just so new to me, you know? I expected my father to hold power, so I really didn't do my due process, I mean diligence, in regards to this, uh, the court. Or where my support should go.“

  "I am glad you will consider supporting Emperor Valamir."

  “I think you mean to say ‘consider supporting Valamir for Emperor,” I interrupted. “He's not on the throne yet. Wouldn’t want to jinx it for the man."

  I gave Wolstan an awkward jab on the shoulder and tried to push through his men.

  "You forgot this," Wolstan said, pushing a blue tabard into my hands.

  "Oh, how silly of me," I said as I accepted the tabard. I made a show of putting it carefully into my belt, tucking it in, making sure it was snug while ensuring I wasn't actually wearing it. And then I looked to Lee and nodded. He walked through the crowd, followed by Skeld and Ragnar. I gave Wolstan a smile, which he did not return, and strode on. Not quickly, but with purpose. I could feel everyone’s beady eyes watching me as I walked away.

  Chapter Three

  Large fires roared in oversized braziers outside the Legion House, providing a spot for the guards to warm themselves while also keeping darkness at bay. These Legionnaires wore heavy
cloaks over their armor, and didn't look quite as alert as the day guards. I wondered if these men had been in the fighting earlier in the day. They looked pretty clean, so I doubted their involvement. Plus, the Imperial House was a good distance from the Emerald Sea wall. Seemed like a bad idea to send the House guards to fight. I mean, unless it was an emergency.

  No one bothered me as I walked into the building. I gave a cursory glance around the interior, noticing there were a few more people sporting blue crests than I’d seen before. Most lacked armor, so there weren't tabards about, but there were smaller accents. Blue arm bands, blue ribbons in hair, blue jewelry. Small statements of allegiance. There were other splashes of color, but exceedingly few and far between. It made me wonder if there was anyone else actually vying for the throne.

  I walked up to the young woman at the desk and gave her a smile.

  "I'd like to speak to the Viceroy if I might," I said.

  "Just a moment," she said, then hopped up from her chair and disappeared.

  I looked at Lee and the Otters. “Mind, uh, just waiting here?” I asked.

  “Saw a tavern across the street,” Ragnar said. “Might prefer grabbing dinner to waiting in this lobby.”

  “Good plan,” I said.

  The two Lutra headed out immediately. Lee waited a half beat longer to give me a look, then followed my hirðmen. I’d have preferred if he’d said what was bothering him or what he was thinking, because I got precisely zero meaning from his look.

  True to her word, a moment later, the desk attendant came tromping down the stairs with the Viceroy right behind.

  Léon held his arms wide and gave me a firm embrace.

  "Come, friend," he said, and guided me back through the building to his office. As soon as we were out of the public area, he quieted down, and seemed subdued compared to the previous day. He had to know about Cleeve.