The Bad Guys Chronicles Box Set Read online

  I ran over to the woman, and I pulled out the earplugs and ripped off the eye mask.

  Nothing.

  I shook her.

  Still nothing.

  Old 80s movie standby, I hauled off and gave her a good slap.

  Nothing.

  She was breathing though, just really out of it.

  I was starting to wonder if she’d been drugged by the husband.

  Screw it, I thought, can’t wait.

  I hauled her onto my shoulder, took two steps, and crashed through the floor.

  It was a small hole, big enough for my lower body to go into the fire below, but the lady tumbled to the carpeted floor of her bedroom. I still had my arms free, so it wasn’t, like, the end of the world, but it only took a second for my pants to reignite, and, this time, my boots lit up too. When I brought my lower half through the floor, I was on fire.

  And, seeing smoke starting to come through the carpet, I knew I was about to see the entire room go poof with fire.

  I grabbed the woman’s hands, and I dragged her through the sleeping area into the sitting area. I snatched a throw blanket off the leather couch and wrapped it around the woman before I hoisted her on my shoulder, took a big breath at the low level, and, as the bedroom went up in flames, I made a run for it.

  The firefighters weren’t going in the house.

  They waited for me to get out, and then they took the mom from me, and I crashed to the ground. Still on fire.

  I remember a lot of pain, beyond my ability to keep it under control, so I started screaming. And then an intense cold as a fire extinguisher went off, and I disappeared into a cloud of white.

  Then, black.

  Chapter 4

  I woke up in the hospital, my body on figurative fire instead of the literal fire. I could only sort of see, and there was definitely a tube going down my throat to help me breathe. I could still hear, though, and the sounds of the place were what led me to understand the hospital-ness of the place I lay in. Smell wasn’t really happening. Not in any way that I could tell what was around me. But hearing, yeah, that was it. I tried to move but didn’t get much response from my body. Not from my legs, or my head, but I did get my left hand moving just a little smidge.

  The other people in the room, at least two of them judging from the conversation I could pick up, were distant. From the sound of it, theirs was an intense discussion, but it was just far enough away that I couldn’t pick up much in the way of words. Just tone. And that one person was arguing, and not understanding what the other was saying. The sharp outburst of cursing gave me a pretty good indication it was probably my father. Nice to know the drunkard made it to the damn hospital to see his only son wrapped up in bandages.

  Using my one slightly working hand, I felt around the table in front of my bed, looking for a remote for the tv I knew had to be in the room. I figured if I turned the television on, it could signal to the doctor I was awake.

  There was something rectangular, and I got my hand to close over it. Bringing it to my face, I had a phone.

  Not my phone, though. A nicer one. Maybe mine had burned in the fire and the lovely family I’d saved had given me a new one.

  A replacement, I thought.

  I brought it up to my face, and I squinted a bit, and I looked at the screen. The buttons were different, but, I mean, decipherable. I knew how to work it — all phones are basically the same. This one had something over the top of a stock Android, at least as far as I could tell. There was a blinking notification, though, something my old phone didn’t have. That was new. And annoying. I’d have to figure out how to turn that off. I clicked on the flashing icon. There was a bit of fancy animation, and the weirdest thing was that it was clear. I could see the words, read the words.

  Ben,

  Would you like a second chance at life? Who would you like to be?

  You have been invited to join the world of Vuldranni.

  A world of darkness lit by a few brave souls who shoulder the burden to bring some semblance of safety to an otherwise deadly planet. The technology is distinctly medieval, though you might find a few surprises here and there. Magic is commonplace. Danger is everywhere. Fancy being a hero? Dare to be a villain? The choice is yours.

  But choose carefully: this may seem like a game, but it is most certainly a new chance at being. A new chance at living. If you wish to take the leap, click here.

  Have a beautiful day, and enjoy your new life.

  INcarn8

  Uh. Okay.

  That was odd. Unexpected for sure. Was it an email? A text? Something else? Why had it, I mean, was this a beta invitation of some kind? It said invitation, so… I mean, I’d gotten a singular, unique free-copy code from my streaming days, but that had been to a small indie game, which, in retrospect had been pretty terrible. I wondered if it was a mobile game, hence why it was on my phone. But since I was stuck in the hospital, I figured I’d hit continue. Give me something to do while I listened to my father argue with whatever authority figure he was currently raging against.

  So yeah, I hit the link.

  Chapter 5

  It seemed like the room got quieter — I could barely hear the beeping. And for some reason, I could see the phone’s screen even clearer now.

  A character sheet. All the fields were empty, and all except two seemed un-clickable.

  Name and race.

  I paused on the name. I usually spent a lot of time on names. They were important, the first impression for most of your fellow gamers. Should I go into this as a troll again? Maybe. Probably not. I didn’t exactly have an audience. That was the main reason I did what I did. But here, this was going to my private hospital game, and so, I thought I’d try something else. Go in the shadows. Be unseen. The name could come later.

  I clicked on race, and a list came up. A long list, one that seemed to be nigh-on endless. All the usual fantasy suspects came first:

  Races:

  Human.

  Elf.

  Half-X.

  Dwarf.

  Halfling.

  Gnome.

  But after the recognizable races, the names started to go in alphabetical order and were a bit out there. Exotic, esoteric, and then some were just relative gibberish. Stuff I’d never heard of.

  Races:

  Agachnern

  Battenti

  Woch

  Lutra

  Ursus

  No idea what any of those were. Likely some furry artist’s wet dreams. There always seemed to be cat-girls or fox-girls in games these days, solely for fan service. Gotta love the fan service. And, I mean, I didn’t hate the fans or really care about their desire for hot ladies of the furry persuasion. It just didn’t really do anything for me, you know, the furriness of it all. I was a fan of human ladies. Or at least I thought I was. I suppose it’s also true that I’d never really given other, uh, sentient beings much thought in terms of romantic or sexual relations. So the furries could do something for me; they just hadn’t yet at that point.

  Really, though, the truth was that I had no time for ladies. Not since my mother left — that ended all the fun and games for me. I’d been working at least one job since then, most of the time two. Occasionally, three. And with all the work, and the other goings-on, I just didn’t have time for much at all, and interest in the other gender, or sex in general, had waned. It’d been a damn long time since anyone had actually touched me in a sensual way.

  I thought back to the time I’d played D&D in college. The lone semester I was able to attend. I played an elven rogue who was a badass with sneaking around and making smartass comments. The sneaking around had continued into the real world, and I figured it was kind of who I was and what I did, so if this game was as realistic as it implied, maybe I’d get a leg up if I kept on the same path. So rogue was for sure, but as far as race goes, elf? Dwarf?

  Not a dwarf, no. I’d had enough of being short in real life. I wanted height for once. I wanted to be tall, blond
e, and handsome. Svelte. I wanted a good chance at survival, and that meant shooting from the back lines and hanging out in the shadows.

  But would that mean missing out on the chance of an exotic life? Would being a weird race make me bad or at least interesting? Fun maybe?

  And then I saw a button at the bottom of the list, randomize. I thought about using it, but what type of idiot would do that?

  I scrolled on and on through the list, and it was so diverse that I started to get overwhelmed. The paradox of choice, I believe. Faced with all the options, I froze for a moment before going back up to start from the top. The familiar.

  Human.

  Race: Human

  Description: Humans are among the more populous races on Vuldranni, and live on most of the continents. They are adaptable, live moderately long lives, and have few limitations placed upon them. That said, they receive few bonuses.

  Boring.

  I was a human here, and it’d kinda sucked. Why do that again if I didn’t have to?

  Dwarf was already out. Gnome and halfling were definitely out. Again for being too short.

  Half-X might be interesting, as it was essentially the cheat code allowing me to combine any two races. But I tossed that to the side since I doubted I’d be able to figure out the right combination before I starved to death. I was down to my last ten nuggets at that point. And some fries, but who’s counting?

  That really just left elf from the notable races. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the sound of it.

  Race: Elf

  Description: Not just the pointy-eared environmentalists from days of yore. Elves in Vuldranni are still pointy-eared but exist in a wide variety of environments. They are an offshoot of creatures native to the Fey plane of existence, and as such, they tend to seem as if they belong to both worlds at the same time. They live inordinately long lives and seem to relish in beauty. They have a love of magic and an innate ability with the arcane arts. They tend towards the pursuit of justice, of being good and kind. Elves receive +2 to Dexterity and increased Mana regeneration.

  I picked elf.

  Which, naturally, popped up an entire list of subraces to choose from.

  Subraces

  1. Elves of the Trees — Elves of the Trees, commonly referred to as wood elves, live in enclaves in large forests, isolated from most other sentient races. They tend to be insular and xenophobic, reacting aggressively to any perceived intrusion. As an Elf of the Trees, you gain +2 to Dexterity, Nightvision, and bonuses to starting woodcraft skills. Your starting spawn point must be within one of the wood elf enclaves.

  2. Elves of the Sea — Elves of the Sea live in an archipelago constrained to a single geographic area of this world. Their lives revolve around the Ocean, living within and around the water. They sail on boats, they fish, they swim. Their skin has darkened due to the constant exposure to the sun, and they have lost their darkvision. As an Elf of the Sea, you gain +2 to Agility, gain Waterbreathing, and have significant bonuses to all water-based skills. Your starting spawn point must be within one of the Sea Elf villages.

  3. Elves of the clouds — Elves of the Clouds are from the tallest mountains of Vuldranni, and their hard life has given them an ability to breathe less oxygen. They spend their lives at altitude in some of the harshest climes known, and that life in duress has modified their digestive systems, so they are able to draw nutrition from nearly anything. +2 to Constitution. Darkvision. Significant bonuses to nutrition and resistance to disease.

  4. Elves of the Wastes — Elves of the Wastes live in a portion of the world known as the Wastes, the physical remnant of a long magical war. They are a militaristic society devoted to fighting back the demons their society accidentally unleashed upon the world. +2 to Agility, Darkvision. Significant bonuses to martial abilities. Your starting spawn point must be within the Wastes.

  5. Elves of the Shade — Elves of the Shade live underground in massive natural caverns. They avoid sunlight and are considered masters of underground agriculture. They have excellent darkvision but have serious complications in bright light. +2 Dexterity, -1 Constitution. Darkvision 200 ft. Significant bonuses to agricultural skills.

  6. Elves of the Sun and Moon — Elves of the Sun and Moon are elves who have integrated themselves into modern societies. They have spread across the globe, and they hold allegiances with nations that are not of their own race. Most elves any sentient being encounters on Vuldranni are of the Sun and Moon. +2 Charisma, Darkvision, +1 Luck

  7. True Elves — True Elves have recently crossed over from the Fey and have joined the world. They have a deeper connection to magic, but less of a connection to the physical world. True Elves may spawn at any point on Vuldranni. +2 Int, -1 Str, +1 Wis. Darkvision. Bonuses to planar travel.

  Talk about the paradox of choice.

  But it was clear there were only two possible choices for me. I wasn’t keen on going into an insular society. I wanted to explore the world at large, to see all the amazing things that might be waiting in what seemed to be an enormous game world. So I could either go True Elf, which certainly sounded dope, or I could go Elf of the Sun and Moon, which, admittedly, was not a good name. A bit cringe-y, to be honest. But, the bonuses they received meshed a whole lot better with the character I was thinking about playing. Charisma was always good for a rogue to help you talk your way out of trouble. That was huge. And magic was always a draw for me, and a better relationship with magic might be just as powerful as a little charisma boost.

  I sighed, and then picked the one with the dumb name.

  Elf of the Sun and the Moon it was.

  That gave me some more options to pick from.

  Attributes.

  Attributes

  Strength: 10

  Agility: 10

  Dexterity: 12

  Constitution: 10

  Wisdom: 10

  Intelligence: 10

  Charisma: 12

  Luck: 11

  Unassigned points: 18

  But that was the extent of the information I’d been given. No help menu, no averages, no ranges. Just left to my own devices. Now, I’d already decided to be a rogue. Sneak attacks and stealing crap, oh my. I could try and min/max, but I had no idea what a good dump stat in this game might be. I could go super-low on strength, but that could bite me in the ass if strength was the main decider about things like carrying capacity. And as a rogue, or a thief more like, I wanted to be able to carry things. And quickly. I decided it would be best if I took a balanced approach. Well, mostly. I did throw a few more points in charisma than I’d intended.

  Attributes

  Strength: 10

  Agility: 14

  Dexterity: 15

  Constitution: 10

  Wisdom: 10

  Intelligence: 14

  Charisma: 17

  Luck: 13

  Unassigned points: 0

  There was a bit of whirring, and then I saw myself. Or, rather, I saw who I’d be playing. I looked pretty good. Tall. I think — not really anything to go on yet. Thin, for sure. Pointy ears, of course. Kind of severe features, but also, remarkably generic. Thankfully, there were lots of little sliders to give me the ability to fine-tune my appearance to almost any way I desired. What color did I want my hair? What growth patterns did I want in my hair? What kind of nose did I want? The customization options were endless and ridiculous, and I certainly lost myself in an attempt to make my avatar the best-looking man I could imagine. Or elf. The best-looking elf I could imagine. Which was pretty damn good.

  Finally, I was done, and I looked at my new self. Tallish, thin, a good head of hair, a good smile, kind eyes. Gotta have kind eyes to get out of trouble. Definitely the hallmark of a good rogue. Ultimately, I liked the way I looked. Which was new for me.

  As soon as I finished making myself — a statement as weird to feel as it is to write — I was given a choice. Well, another in a litany of choices, except this time it was capitalized, so it had to be important
. It was a Choice. Ooh. Gave me the distinct impression they were just trying to not say class. Ridiculous. Just say class. We all get it.

  But I didn’t have a wide range of Choices to, uh, choose from. Just a few, and they seemed pretty tailored to me.

  Make your Choice:

  1. Rogue - Rogues are the generalist of the underworld. They do a little burgling, a touch of thuggery, a pinch of purse-cutting, and the occasional murder. Rogues gain bonuses to progression in thievery skills. A good place to start.

  2. Assassin - Death is your business, and business is, well, depends on you, really. You are focused on killing other sentient beings, monsters be damned. Which they probably are. Decreased XP from killing monsters or beasts, increased XP from killing sentient beings. Increased progression in martial areas which directly affect killing (so no hand-to-hand combat bonus for you).

  3. Swashbuckler - A rogue, but on the high seas. XP bonuses for all activities done in or on water. XP penalties for actions on land. Bonuses to progression in thievery skills and maritime activities.

  So I really only got rogue-based Choices. It was almost as if the game had been reading my mind that it somehow knew I was planning on being a thief. Or a rogue. Creepy, but you know, technically correct.

  Rogue was exactly what I’d been looking for, so it was a quick thing for me to click the rogue Choice.

  Which elicited an additional choice. Lowercase this time, so not as important. Spawn location. A whole host of locations came up, but they were just words. Some sounded cool, some sounded stupid, most just sounded, well, like places. Cities. I scrolled down a bit, and I found something interesting. The city of Glaton in the Empire of Glaton. Capital city? Likely. That was good enough for me.